Or maybe it is more of a divine bovine? Yes I know it’s been three months since I have posted. It was an unplanned summer break. During my break I spent some time with family and sort of recharged my creative energies. That is not the point though, the point here is I just really wanted to make a post about this pun/wordplay thing that made me chuckle while I was herbally infused. Here is a better look at my face so you can see the bovine beauty in all it’s glory.
The only cute part of my cow self is my tail. It sort of had a mind of it’s own flicking this way and that. Oh well at least you can see my ears and adorable nubby horns.
Once upon a time there was a beautiful mermaid swimming through the ocean. She was enjoying watching the little schools of fish swimming to and fro. She also loved watching the jellyfish floating through the water, their tentacles flowing behind them like streamers.
The mermaid was horrified as she swam closer to where the humans lived. Before she knew it her pristine waters were cluttered with all sorts of stuff from the human world. She saw fish and turtles trapped and injured by all the refuse in the water and she got MAD.
At a loss of what to do the mermaid did what mermaids have been doing for eons, she sought out the aid of a sea witch. Now not all sea witches like the one in the one popular human movie. In fact this sea witch just happened to be a witch who cast a spell upon herself to be able to breath underwater. She wanted to get away from the humans as well, something about being afraid of being set aflame.
When the mermaid got to the witches cave she asked her for a spell to get revenge on the humans who were littering the world. And that my little angelfish is how the very first siren came to be. And soon you will continue our proud tradition of protecting the oceans.
Here we see a mermaid in her natural habitat trying to seduce a shipwrecked sailor. The mermaid uses her seductive looks to draw him in. Little does the unwitting sailor know that this mermaid is not like the ones he heard tales of in his youth. Her tears contain no magic powers as she is not known to have ever shed a tear. As the sailor gets close the mermaid springs her trap and drags him into the deep waters of the ocean to her lair.
There surrounded by all her fish friends and the remains of her previous victims she waits for the sailor to take his last breath before she sinks her teeth into his sun baked flesh.
She is ready to take flight in her purple dress, with the slit up to her faery cake. You can’t see it because of the pose, but I did have on a little modesty covering so that my magic muffin stayed covered. I figured the colors of the dress fit in spectacularly with the purples and blues in Duskfall Court.
I couldn’t forget making sure she had some fabulous jewels to wear because, well she is just fabulous. I may have gone overboard with all the purple, but when you visit Duskfall Court you will understand the reason…maybe.
This fairy godmother is straight out of a book…literally. Hopefully her spells are better and longer lasting that a certain bippity boppity boo-er, because if I am at a big party and my timer is up at midnight you know you need to be out of there at least an hour early so you don’t turn into some disheveled mess (you know my everyday look). Whish means party time is over by 11 pm at the latest and who wants to leave that early?
She does have very mesmerizing eyes though, maybe that is how she can convince someone to hang out at a ball till the very last moment possible. And make her think that glass footwear for dancing is a really goo idea. I mean new shoes can cause blisters as it is, but how did they survive running down stairs in the first place? Hopefully my fairy godmother is a little more logical.
My hunt for the elusive wootberry syrup continues. Of course, someone out there in the fairelands is trying to stop me with wicked distraction techniques! The quest began this week so of course I had to do that, but I didn’t take any pictures because I accidentally took pictures of some quest related things already, ooops.
Then there were stage shows to see, like these cheerleaders!
And the jail and bailing of the infamous Alia Baroque. I wasn’t able to snap pictures of both exclusive skins, I got one and some of the fairelanders in attendance before the King of Crash hit my computer (I took it as a sign to let someone else in to get one or both of the skins). I think he ate some photos as an appetizer! That means I have no idea if the dragon awoke or got to continue sleeping and probably missed out on the bus ride of chaos.
After all the distractions I got back to my search for the Basement Kitteh Gang. Thinking I needed to up my disguise game I went deeeeep undercover as a kitty myself. While I didn’t find the gang I may have stumbled upon a clue!
I was going to title this post “Please Don’t Eat The Daisies”, but then my dirty mind kicked in and I thought it wouldn’t be nice of me to dictate what someone does with the daisies. And Yes I am that kind of cheese that I made the hair match the flowers, well as best I could anyway. These adorable daisy outfits are currently available at…you guessed it, Fantasy Faire! If you wanna have some fun with someone you can actually pluck the petals. Since I didn’t have anyone around at the time my petals were left unplucked. And I think before I make anymore dirty innuendos I will leave you with a closeup of my daisy makeup and the credits.
During the Faire a few years ago I shared why I relay. It was the year my dad got diagnosed with cancer. That was over two years ago now. At the time he was given six to twelve months,but he obviously beat those odds. That year we were measuring things in “lasts”. Like his last birthday, last Father’s Day etc. Then he passed the one year mark and we all held our breath knowing we were on borrowed time. There were ups and downs and more rallies than I can count. We reached the two year mark this January and there have been a lot more downs than there have been ups. As I am writing this (a few weeks before the Faire starts) things have changed dramatically. He is now receiving home hospice care, a hospital bed is being delivered today and my siblings (one who used to be a hospice nurse) have given him about two weeks. I mean it’s not the first time he’s been given only a couple of weeks, but this time it feels different. My heart is aching because I can’t be there for my mom who is slowly watching the person she has spent over fifty years married to slowly fade away. It aches to not be there to tell my dad that as much as I don’t want him to go it’s okay to let go, we will take care of mom and be there for her. I relay so no other family needs to watch loved ones leave this world in pain, a shadow of their former selves. So no wife,husband,mother or father needs to say goodbye to a loved one way before their time. I relay because I love.
My sister was close, it was 10 days after writing all that he moved on to his next adventure and I suddenly felt lost on my current one. When I got the call the world seemed to dim and everything went quiet.
Welcome to the WTF Record, also known as What The Faire Record. I am your humble reporter, not Phire, and I got word about a scandal before the Faire, something about bribery with Wootberry syrup so I am going undercover at the faire this year trying to find this elusive syrup and find out for myself what makes is so desirable.
I started my journey at the Fairelands Junction where I was immediately distracted by the Worldlings, a personal Faire favorite. There were these portals that I just wanted to climb into but thought better of. Mostly because I have trust issues with portals. Oh, and there was this one worldling that was under water, and I was just waiting for a shark jump scare to happen. I may watch too many scary movies. I also have an irrational fear of being deep in SL waters.
I started my journey to find these elusive wootberries but was easily distracted by a merchant selling fabrics. As a quilter I can never pass by fabric without checking it out!
While I was out, I noticed some wanted posters. I am hoping I can get an interview with the Basement Kitteh Gang before their incarceration, criminals seem like a good source of information on the wootberry syrup.
I stumbled upon a caravan and saw a fortune tellers’ tent and was hoping to glean some information through the spirits, but unfortunately no one appeared to be in the tent, or the caravans. Another dead end it seems.
As I traveled, I noticed some birds feasting away on some berries and I got hopeful till I saw they were just normal berries. I don’t blame the birds though; they did look delicious.
I then tried asking this group of poor things (get it?) but I could make no sense out of anything coming from their beaks, mouths…umm food holes. I tried asking some racoons if they knew anything about wootberries, but they just muttered something about squirrels and their nuts. I didn’t want to know to be honest.
Moving along I asked continued questioning anyone I could. This icy looking horned person just seemed to stare through me. I think we just weren’t on the same plane of existence maybe.
Again, I got distracted, this time by sweet treats. I was hoping maybe one of the delectable pastries was flavored with wootberry to guild me along, but alas they were all your typical flavors. After my snack I was checking alleys and anywhere else I thought the criminal element may be hiding. Still nothing!
Somehow, I ended up underground in the magical area and I thought for sure there had to be some wootberries or wootberry syrup about, but no, and when I resurfaced? Nothing but fungi and forest. No berries of any sort!
While walking through a peaceful forest area I saw a sign for “Secret Stuff” and thought to myself at last! Surely wootberry syrup and wootberries are secret stuff. As I followed the path I ran into this knowledgeable looking owl, who looked a little familiar to me. Have I seen them before? Of course, the path was just a plot to lure me to more distraction with shops galore.
I wandered some more and suddenly found myself underwater in what appeared to be a flooded subway tunnel. I spoke to the fish swimming around the tunnel, but pretty fish don’t always have the best memories.
I then found myself in a candy-coated place of nightmare fuel. Self-preservation being what it is I did not ask any of the malicious looking treats for help. I regularly try to avoid things with sharp teeth that look like they want to take a bite out of me.
I finished my explorations and found no other places that had wootberries or wootberry syrup. Next, I will attempt to interview those I find at the faire that look like they may have information for me!
Every year before Fantasy Faire opens they send out a Panic Flamingo. This year I thought why not be the Panic Flamingo? So I held open auditions and only told myself and the only other competitor, the coffee flamingo. I started off strong with the pink feathers and offering of refreshments. I did make a misstep when I referred to the role as the Panic Chicken instead of flamingo. I don’t know why my brain wants it to be a chicken so bad!
My second mistake came during the question and answer round. The question that got me into the most trouble was “What would you do to help motivate creators”. The coffee-mingo said something about encouraging words and fresh coffee on demand. A very diplomatic answer I guess, but would that really motivate them? My answer caused a bit of an uproar and phrases being tossed about like “creating a hostile work environment”, “You can’t assault creators” and “You need to leave…Now”. All I said was that I would pelt them with day old scones if they were slacking off. I mean all the hard working ones would get fresh pastries and tea, or coffee I guess. So my dreams of being the Panic Flamingo were dashed, but read on because I may have gotten my revenge.
You see after my crushing defeat and swearing never to pull a stunt like this again I was approached by these little fellas (fellas being a non-gender specific use here). They told me if I wanted a sneak peek at all the Fantasy Faire happenings and maybe a idea of what the realms will be they have the hook up. It will only cost me some waffles and wootberry syrup. Now waffles are easy to come by, even I know how to make them, but I was troubled by the wootberry syrup. Was is faire slang for some illegal substance, was it just a flavor I had never heard of before? In the end I just mixed some blueberry, strawberry and maple syrup together and presented it with the waffles. They seemed will to tell me where to get the information so now I am sharing with you. And no it’s not because I am petty.
Phire Within 